Wise Words:
When life gives you lemons -- PUCKER UP!
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Tuesday, November 26, 2002
a very special update
i hate to be breaking my hiatus from posting yet again, but I have to tell what I came across today. Leaving the library after doing my usual rounds of job-hunting, I came across this lovely license plate-- and I quote:
ARYAN
I believe I passed the owner of this lovely license today, for I got a very scary stare from a Caucasian man as I walked over to the papers.
Needless to say this has soured my mood for the day.
I could also post about the excursion to Publix my mom and I just completed, but that would make me postpone what I want to say -- actually, sing -- next:
*ahem* (clears throat)
...
GOD F*CK AMERICA
LAND THAT I PISS ON AND CRAP OVER
...
also known as the LAND OF UNEMPLOYEMENT, BAD ECONOMY AND BAD GOVERNMENTS... oh yeah and land of the ARYANS
...
need I go further?
18:57
Friday, November 22, 2002
a break from a break
ok, I stopped by ozma's side of Blogtown and, for fear of seeing her rip her hair out or something, I've chosen to leave hiatus just this once to post. first, allow me to quote you, dearest Megan:
I need a healthy, creative, yuppie-pay JOB.
I need a healthy, creative, yuppie-pay JOB.
I need a healthy, creative, yuppie-pay JOB.
I need a healthy, creative, yuppie-pay JOB.
I need a healthy, creative, yuppie-pay JOB.
To keep you company while I'm away, here're my answers to the survey the Cyberstalker posted:
1. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN MORNING?
i don't-- try noon :)
2. IF YOU COULD EAT LUNCH WITH ONE FAMOUS PERSON, WHO WOULD IT BE?
John Walker, John Allen Muhammed, "Big Cat" bin Laden (no, really, that's what his name means), Hitler -- hell, for that matter Dubya himself (and for the record my dad compared the Prez to the Führer the other day)
3. GOLD OR SILVER?
silver bullion covered in gold leaf
4. WHAT WAS THE LAST FILM YOU SAW AT THE CINEMA?
um... well i went to see La ville est tranquille the other day, but i doubt the olin building (splendored in its arched double wooden-railed staircase and carpeted lobby) would count as a typical "cinema"
5. FAVORITE TV SHOW?
Will & Grace (did anyone watch it last night? those outtakes were hu-lar-ee-us)
The Amazing Race (no episode this week thanks to the *&^%$ Victoria's Secret fashion show-- on CBS! what's happening to its family-friendly image?)
Iron Chef (haven't watched it lately but still miss it)
Cooking with Jacques Torres (ditto)
6. WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST?
i believe you mean lunch (see #1)
7. WHAT WOULD YOU HATE TO BE LEFT IN A ROOM WITH?
a bed with no pillow or blankets; a fully functional desktop tower and monitor, with no keyboard and / or mouse; food with no utensils (but then again why do we have hands?)
8. CAN YOU TOUCH YOUR NOSE WITH YOUR TONGUE?
no, but i can "touch" your body with a meat cleaver
9. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE QUOTE?
only one? but there are so many good expressions using such colorful four-letter words...
10. WHAT IS YOUR MIDDLE NAME?
Genius. I'm also nicknamed Einstein :)
11. BEACH, CITY, or COUNTRY?
beach for sun, surf, and sand; city for culture and class; country for nature and a humbler way of life
12. SUMMER OR WINTER?
fall
13. FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
just one again? geez this is a difficult survey
14. BUTTERED, PLAIN, OR SALTED POPCORN?
me. eat. food. simple as that.
15. FAVORITE COLOR?
martian green
16. FAVORITE CAR?
one that goes really, really fast and is magnetic to trees, fences and brick walls
17. FAVORITE SANDWICH FILLING
i feel like quoting a calvin and hobbes strip, but i'll hold back. i must say that i have an inclination towards roast beef and swiss (on a hearty onion roll or rye), those grilled sandiwches with sauerkraut and corned beef (i'd recognize the name if i saw it-- somebody help me here), and any other cholesterol-laden food item between two slices of bread
18. TRUE LOVE?
...is something i doubt exists
19. WHAT CHARACTERISTICS DO YOU DESPISE?
ha.
HA.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....
20. FAVORITE FLOWER?
a dead one.
21. IF YOU HAD A BIG WIN IN THE LOTTERY, HOW LONG WOULD YOU WAIT TO TELL PEOPLE?
who said anything about telling anyone?
22. FIZZY OR STILL WATER AS A DRINK?
as long as it's not tainted...
23. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHROOM?
a nice toothpaste-and-saliva-encrusted white
24. HOW MANY KEYS ON YOUR KEY RING?
let's see... one for the cuffs, one for the cage...
25. WHERE WOULD YOU RETIRE TO?
whereever the food is delicious, the accomodations are five-star and the people are gorgeous... or simply somewhere else
26. CAN YOU JUGGLE? IF YES HOW MANY?
what am i juggling? sources of stress? bills to pay? flame throwers?
27. FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK?
those days which find me not working and sleeping till noon -- i guess that's Everyday!
28. RED OR WHITE WINE?
both: more wine = more drunk
29. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY?
for one thing, i got out of bed
30. DO YOU CARRY A DONOR CARD?
really now, would anyone want this body or any of its parts?
The WHoB shall now crawl back into the pit from whence it came. Goodbye.
02:39
Thursday, November 21, 2002
the WHoB is on hiatus again for an undecided length of time.
goodbye.
14:50
Tuesday, November 19, 2002
good karma, bad karma: just call me a kar-wreck
grazie to those of you who expressed concern over my last post. (i notice no one showed any surprise at my word choice. it's not every day that i use this language! -- okay, not every hour.) i'm sure some of you shall find my reasons for being pissed trite, so instead i'll just post about today:
- good karma
- i finally met with the SCSDB volunteer coordinator. turns out that Greg is not the name of a potential tutoree, but the supervisor with whom i'll be working. the volunteer coordinator gave me a drive-through tour of the campus -- lots of construction, a good sign. i'm frankly excited about starting up volunteering again, but i'm not starting until dec, what with thanksgiving and all. i just hope my work schedule will allow me to volunteer, whatever the work may be and whenever / if ever i get it.
- just as i finished my meeting with the coordinator i saw a police woman writing up a ticket -- and heading to my car. i ran up to her, explained it was my first time and therefore didn't know where to park, etc etc, and she kindly didn't write me up. i acted as sheepishly as possible and behold, it worked.
- bad karma
- after the SCSDB meeting i went to the library for my usual daily run through the classifieds. of course the SHJ was pitiful and the GN, usually better, wasn't by much this time around. then a thought struck me: why don't i check the sunday papers, just in case? AND THERE IT WAS. A JOB I HAVE BEEN DROOLING OVER, ADVERTISED IN THE SUNDAY PAPER. "CALL MONDAY 9-4 ONLY". and what time was i reading the freakin' ad? AT 4:24 PM. geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezus i could kill myself. it pisses me off that the fucking employer has to be so inconsistent with his ads, i remember seeing the name phone no job description etc weeks ago. either he can't keep his employees or his company is growing really fast.
at the rate i'm going i might as well stop by the waffle house tomorrow. maybe they need someone to burn pancakes.
- i flicked somebody off on my drive home. it didn't feel great doing it but the bastard sure deserved it: first he cut in front of me then made a turn in my lane, taking some fifteen seconds to do it, smack in the middle of rush hour. wasn't a difficult turn either. i'm sure that's going to have repercussions tomorrow: watch me miss another job opportunity -- by a quarter minute.
i did see an ad for a music minister job opening in the G'ville paper... but that is exactly what i don't want to do. this music stuff is for me too personally oriented to have me possibly consider it work. i also don't like the possibility that if i don't play well enough the faithful might think their prayers aren't being heard or whatever those people think / do. oh yeah, add also the fact that it's in another city and i'm gonna have to deal with all that sunday morning-church traffic just to get a few measly dollars. just how badly do i want that money????
sheesh, i give up. i'll go to wal-mart and see if i can land a job there. if the woman who last checked me out can work there (late middle-aged woman, frazzled hair, wrinkles about the eyes, was altogether too obviously having trouble with the scanner and the machine, couldn't get a check authorized / stamped, needed help getting the cds i bought out of their plastic security braces) than i bet i sure as hell can. just put me in the guns & ammo dept so i can pull a michael douglas heh heh hehehehehhekh e ......
to top it all off, and i know this is an exceedingly petty matter so don't bother addressing it: i can't choose between TAR or this week's WC foreign language film. if teri and ian (the "rude american" couple) finally drop out of the race, i wanna be in front of the screen to witness it. or, more accurately, watch it post-facto. but how often do i get to watch a french film? and i already missed "beijing bicycle"....
02:25
Monday, November 11, 2002
I carumba!
Isn't it intriguing -- your indelicate insults of my infatuation for The Amazing Race! I indulged you with information in hopes of igniting an impetus to watch.... Indeed not even an inkling of gratification! Inexcusable! Ingrates, shall I hereon invoke you thus? I admit, perhaps I have inebriated myself.... and instituted an immature yet indelible and insatiable interest with the show.
It's time: I've heard enough: I have instinctively inferred that you are all indifferent to the intricacies of TAR. Instead, since you indicated your inclination to read more about me (of all identities!), this installment of the WHoB includes only sentences initiated with the letter "i" (ideally - please ignore any inconsistencies).
Industrious you may call me. Ingenious, even. "Imbecile," however, innately insinuates YOU. I invite you to the intricate inner instances of "I carumba!":
- I like blogger.com.
- I like posting.
- I am currently reading Brighton Rock, by Graham Greene.
- I would find "Pinkie" a horrifically unfortunate name for a gangster, but that's just me.
- Isn't early 20th century British literature lovely? Reading about people riding "in the dicky" (thank god they're not on it) is just marvelous. Introduce yourself to these fabulous words: "He felt the need of a deep sentimental affection... and a cuddle in the corner. His great paw yearned for a sticky hand." Erm, yeah.
- I. . . I . . . um . . . I . . .
. . .
- I . . . cicles are things you would never find in SC.
- I . . . gloos, for that matter.... well, ditto.
- illeroC olegnacrA yb (2 oN 6 supO) issorg itrecnoc :ot gninetsil woN
- If you think I enjoy limiting my freedom of post in this manner, you're idiotic.
In a more serious light:
- I wish I still had it in me to compose
- It'd be lovely if I could speak Spanish
- I need A FUCKING JOB
- Is there any way I could skip this freakin' country? Immediately?
Is there anything else you people desire of me? My sanity, perhaps?
Infidels beware, for I am in an intolerable, ill-tempered and irritable mood...
(If you're keen I insist that you read about another TAR fan at the daily dewayne.)
13:26
Friday, November 01, 2002
Jee-zus, I could never be dumber.
Let's contextualize this: I closed my account with the first union bank earlier this month because their closest branch was half an hour or a city away, depending on your preferred method of distance measurement. Needless to say, that's too far for a lazy, non-driving time-waster like me. I know that First Union is merging with Wachovia but didn't want to be driving half an hour (or a city away, if you prefer) until next year, when the merger is to end.
I wanted to open a similar account to the one I had at FU: since I started this account while at DC and opened it for the sake of the DoS to put money in there, it made sense to open a college account, right? One that required no minimum balance and no monthly fee regardless of deposits, balance, etc. Thus I shopped around town looking for the same type of deal. And, since today is such a blessed (by your faithful merchant-priests of commercialism) unholiday, I decided to celebrate by opening said account.
Here's where it hurts: among the twenty-odd banks in my neck of the woods, Wachovia was my best bet for an FU college-type of account. As if that wasn't enough, the lady at Wachovia wouldn't let me open a college account because, duh, I'm no longer in college.
(And for the record, this is my reply to her when she posed the usual, conversational Where-did-you-go-to-school question: "Nowhere. It's no big deal." Can we hear a "GO WILDCATS!"?)
(I must be deaf.)
Had I not done a thing to that FU college account, I wouldn't have needed to worry about doing all that shopping around -- en plus, I wouldn't need to pay a two-dollar monthly fee for the stupid "express checking" s**t that I now have opened with Wachovia. Two dollars may not seem like a lot but it sure as hell adds up over time... being the penny-pincher I am, I watch every copper coin creep by....
If only I wasn't such a lazy dolt. Gee-zus I'm so mad at myself I could hurt myself.
And if that wasn't enough to spoil this year's All Hallow's Eve for me, I had to deal with a few trick-or-treaters. Now I don't mind the lil' tikes with their plastic wolf-man masks and the like, but when pre-adolescents show up at my door wearing nothing but everyday clothes and asking me for Jolly Ranchers... Let's bypass rotting the tooth and just knock it out instead, capèche?
(Another for the record: I had considered hiding in my car, parked out front by the door, and scaring the jeebies out of the kids by jumping out of it at the perfect moment. Or maybe I should start a Wicca cult; I'm sure the neighbors'd love that. We all have to get our kicks somehow, eh?)
12:42
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