Wise Words:
When life gives you lemons -- PUCKER UP!
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Tuesday, April 30, 2002
Dissed again by my dept.
-- and by the same prof, too.
It's sooooo ironic (used in the Alanis Morrissette sense) that after all the shit my piece and I have been through in the past few days, one of my performers got sick last night. Of course, the bitch was busy with rehearsals last night and so it was about 11 pm when I finally told her the news. She seemed to be pissed at the performer -- you don't cut out of a performance unless you are nearly about to drop dead -- and then she said, quite sternly, "I'll cut the piece from the program."
The comp recital was tonight. I took her words to mean that she'd leave my piece on the recital program but announce that one of my performers is sick and therefore that my piece wouldn't be performed. No, when she says cut she means cut -- she completely deleted all existence of me on the program. Nowhere is my piece, or my performers, or my program notes, or my name mentioned in the program.
People, that is a serious insult -- she's basically saying that 1) I am not in her class or 2) if I was, that I haven't done any work whatsoever for the class. This is beyond offensive, people. I had some of my friends show up for the show, including a professor outside the department. He was very supportive of me and noticed the absence of my name, too.
At this point, there's no turning back. I've been OFFENDED, DERIDED and INSULTED by my department so many times I just can't take it anymore. Once again I shall schedule an appointment with the Dean of Students tomorrow (the first meeting went v. well, by the way) and explain how the current situation stands.
Honestly, I doubt my dept can find any more ways to dis me. it's down to the last straw, and even with only 19 days to go I don't know how much more I can take.
23:08
Monday, April 29, 2002
A word of advice:
never wait til the last minute to send something in.
The scenario: my application is due tomorrow. I've had it ready for a while -- updated my resume, wrote a "brief statement" (a paragraph) about what I want to get out of the program -- just never had the time to send it.
So at the post office I spend $12.45 to send it via express mail.
Guys, that is a shitload of money, just for a dinky manila envelope to be sent up north.
Goddammit. And I probably won't even get the grant money I need to participate in this thing, thanks to my bee-atch of my advisor.
Let this be a lesson for us all.
12:39
Sunday, April 28, 2002
People . . .
I think I'm in love.
Seriously, Dashboard Confessional has really got me going. Their stuff is great -- why haven't I heard of them sooner??? I was watching the Smashing Pumpkins' music video for 1979 on Launch when some top 10 video countdown came on. I'd seen the Goo Goo Dolls video for "Here is Gone," which was nice enough (actually, very much in the style of Goo), but then DC came on.... wow. And so the afternoon was spent mp3-hunting.
If you guys wanna check DC (does anybody else recognize those strange initials?) out, I say "The Brilliant Dance" is a good starter song. And of course there's "Screaming Infidelities," whose video you can watch here. DC, from the hours of research I did today, seem to fall under this sub-genre of indie rock called Emo. It's acoustic music, but it caters to a different audience than that generally associated with acoustic stuff. For example, John Mayer (I was raving about him earlier) is also acoustic, but folk acoustic. There's a different intended audience, and therefore it becomes a new genre altogether.
I also got to watch Linkin Park's video for "Untitled (In the End)" -- I love the song and now thanks to the recent anthem-composition controversy this song has become my anthem. Seriously: "I tried so hard / And got so far / But in the end / It doesn't even matter." So true. Anyway, the video starts out in this barren landscape, with the band on top of this idol statue or something.... Their performance in the video seems to act as a rain dance, because towards the end it starts pouring, and finally we start seeing green. And in the end (when we've all gotten so far that it doesn't even matter), the landscape has changed from the desolate horizon to a lush biological haven. Interesting progression there -- even if the lyrics give a very negatively fatalistic message, the video has a positive outlook, it seems.
I must be starting the rebound from last week: not only did I get a call from Big Nate this morn, but I got a call from my parents too. Of course, they called at 930 and there was no fuckin way I was gonna wake up at that time just to get the phone. So I called them back just a moment ago and they were asking me about stuff. Wow, they actually do give a shit about me graduating! They actually wanted to come up to Charlotte to have some dim sum but they called me too late for me to meet up with them. I mentioned the President's Supper to them -- BIG MISTAKE. I was hoping that I wouldn't have my family there because I hate this school so much, but now my parents want to come to it and even my brother is flying down for the ceremony. Good god. I was thinking about inviting Biskit and Beebs to the Supper, cuz at least that way I'd have people to hang out with and enjoy -- hell, we could even fuck up the place by starting a food fight or something, since I'm graduating, Biskit's heading to Spain and Beebs possibly transferring -- but oh well. Maybe I'll get extra tickets for everybody I know and just turn the Prez's Supper into My Supper. That would be sweet.
While I'm at it, let me congratulate Mr. Viola Stud on his recital today. As with everything else he does, he played fantastically. Sure, the Schubert had a few mess-ups and the Mozart wasn't entirely clean, but hell, can I play the viola that well? It was so cute that his parents came all the way from OH to attend -- they even brought this chocolate cake covered in musical notes. What killed me about the cake, too, was that in the corner there was like this treble clef with two dots to the right of it. I swear, if the treble and bass clefs got it on and had a baby, that would've been it. That killed me. LR gave the flowers we bought to RF and NS to congratulate them, and we tried making the tissue paper look nice, but we're not florists so kiss my (_x_) ok?
More fun today: Allie asked me to attend this Chinese calligraphy workshop she was presenting in compensation for the Dean Rusk grant she got to study in Japan over Xmas break. There was food from Lotus -- that's what most of the people came for, too, shows you what careless bastards people at this school are -- and there was also this prospective from Montana. She was actually born in Hangzhou (that'd be China), too, so it was kind of fun to talk to her. That is, until she started showing off how good she is with writing characters. I can't stand showoffs like that, but I remained nice to her since she's only a prospective anyway.
I had scheduled a rehearsal for right now.... *sigh* all of my performers are so busy...I'm so indecisive. Thanks to the recent controversy, I wanted to pull the piece from the recital, but people are encouraging me to have it performed. I thought, ok, but I still don't want people to be there and be like, "Oh, that was a nice piece," cuz it really isn't anymore. But now people are telling me that I should invite everyone I know to present some visible support against whatever evils may come from the dept. I don't know and I don't care. I just wanna get the fuck outta here. This school just makes me sick.
Which is exactly why my parents shouldn't come -- I'd hate for the profs to meet my parents. I don't want to deal with how phony they are, because they can be around people that matter. As students, we don't matter, but when it comes to people who stuff their pocketbooks it's a completely different attitude towards socializing. Makes me wanna puke.
I should start my mus his paper soon (remember ProFUCKIT?) -- speaking of which, i found the site of a fellow music geek blogger but I have yet to establish contact. We'll see if we can forge a connection with this other blog-being.
21:47
Frolicking is finally fucking over. Fuck it.
A word of support to RF: good luck tonight! Break a string! (And while you're at it, break some necks too.)
I started copying out a nice, clean, final draft of my composition last night -- although I'm not trying to make it nice and neat. Instead of skipping a line to keep it easy legible, I'm squeezing as much on one page as I can -- this piece has lost all its dignity, so what does it matter anymore? I'm probably not gonna save this copy -- hell, I might even tear it up in her face. It's not like I want to keep the piece as it stands, anyway, so this "final" draft I'm copying out is personally useless. I already have a hunch as to how I'm going to start rearranging and revising it. Who cares if the copy is too messy for her? I don't need this "class" to graduate; all I need is a C, or a D (D is for diploma!), or even an F (F is for.... well, you know). I just don't give a shit anymore.... my scholarly self has been beaten to pieces thanks to this school, not to mention my sanity, my emotional stability....my everything...
News from Nippon: God how I adore Nate!!! When I got that email from him asking for my number, I never thought he was being serious! And now this morning I get a call from him, all the way from Japan!!!!! Dang this dude is so cool. We talked for nearly an hour -- he hasn't changed much at all, he's still the same great guy he always was -- and it was just so nice to hear his voice. And the amount of Japanese he's learned! I wouldn't be surprised if he knows more kanji than I do. yeah dawg. He told me that, sadly, he's planning on staying there for another year.... who can blame him? Teaching little Japanese kids English can't be that bad at all..... and the culture there, too.... in some ways, I definitely wish I had applied for the program, but then again, I don't know if I could handle the "I may look like you but I don't speak your language" problem again...
God it was so nice to hear his voice. Seems like I've been getting a lot of emails and things from the 2001ers -- Sen, Jen, Nate -- god how I miss them all. Especially Nate, since he's in a foreign country and doesn't plan on coming back soon. Goddammit.
I adore this guy, in case you can't tell. He's one of those people that makes you kinda happy to be at this school... until he graduates.
LR: don't forget to stop by my room this afternoon....
12:01
Saturday, April 27, 2002
DEATH to all the assholes out there who think they're so fucking hot they can go spring frolicking half-naked
I have to deal with your fucking faces every day, as if that wasn't enough
19:46
I did some work in the music library today...even though I noticed her office door open and I heard her voice.
It's my building too, dammit.
Right now I'm to the point where I have been many times: don't give a fuck, just do everything, turn it in, get your grades (D is for diploma) and get the fuck outta here. This school has beaten me senseless; if I didn't have a will to live before, I certainly don't have it now. At least academically.
So, London, you wanna call again? *grin* seems like you've all been through some shitty-shit-shit lately, too.
I'll return Jennifer's call tonight. (That would be big sis #2.) I should, especially since we haven't spoken all semester. Ah, I'm such a popular person. *rofl*
18:13
Friday, April 26, 2002
Triple D-Day: Dishonored, Disenchanted and simply Dissed
OK, here's the story. It's about my composition, titled "Variations on the japanese national anthem." In case you can't tell by the title (apparently, some people can't... they're just that shallow), the composition is based on the Japanese national anthem.
So yeah, the comp prof thinks I plagiarized ol' Hayashi's song. Or whatever. She can't bitch that I didn't "cite" my source music -- it says it after all in the title.
What I think she's pissed about more, though, is that I didn't tell her earlier.
Did I think it was necessary to tell her back then? No, because back then I was planning on deriving something with traces of the Japanese national anthem, but that was so different that no one would know that I actually based my piece on that unless they knew. (Think Stravinsky.)
She says she has told me specifically that she called it "your melody" (ie, "mine") before -- but then again, what does she mean by that? "Your melody" can refer to the melody that "you" created, or it can refer to the melody currently in front of "you". It sounds trite, I know, but it's an argument nonetheless. I took it to mean the latter, she meant it as the former. Oh well.
I told her that I didn't tell her because I was worried that she wouldn't let me undergo such a project. I'm recalling instances where I watched my good friend Barus as he worked for his Beginning Comp last semester -- he would literally be in fits of rage, worried that his piece wouldn't sit well with her: "I like that measure because it sounds good, but Shitsack (his own name for the prof... he has dergoratory names for all his profs, whether he likes them or not) won't let me keep that because that sounds too much like Chopin. She'll be, like, "that sounds like chopin." GODDAMMIT, what am I supposed to do? Everything I write seems to remind her of something." There would be times he'd yell, he'd bitch, he'd throw his pencil around -- even punching me a few times -- and I recalled all that and thought, I can't let her know I'm doing this or else she'll be stifling my creativity. Using the JNA is important to me; it's become a very personal melody and I wanted it to be an integral element of my piece.
Perhaps she has forgotten that the senior seminar this year is devoted to the subject of borrowing and appropriation-- is this not the issue here? Does she not see a connection? When I learn about new ideas, new chords, new ways to construct or create a new architecture... I like to apply things that I learn and add them to my style, try to work with them and exercise my musical bicep with it all, for I believe it is important to understand what people in the past have done in order to be able to fairly continue the pre-established tradition in whose environment one works.
So anyway, she says both that I plagiarized and that I lied. I notified all my friends here and astonishingly, I've gotten a lot of sympathetic emails. All of them believe I did nothing wrong, a few have given me advice as to how to go about things and some have even said they'd back me up at any Honor Council meetings if necessary. It's so nice to know that I have friends, it really is. I was so pissed with her and this school in general that I literally started packing last night; but people have knocked some sense into me, and now I shall stay.
And I shall fight.
I've made my appointment with the Dean of Students; the one I'm scheduled to meet with is supposedly one who understands Honor Council affairs best, so I'll be sure to go in there prepared. I also wanted to talk to my seminar prof -- now that the comp prof, ie MY ADVISOR is completely bitchy with me, he's the last person I have. Mauro, it seems, has been with me from the start anyway. He really should've been my advisor. I really should've asked to do an independent study with him instead of taking comp.
Today I had to see comp prof, Shitsack, whatever you want to call her (the b word works too) to talk about program notes for my piece. I reached her office and she spoke sooooo sweetly to me it made me sick: "Hi Andy! I just need 2 more minutes to finish this email..." I wait for her to finish her freakin email, I get her comments, I come back to my room to retype my program notes. Later this afternoon she has more advice.... but this time around she was a lot bitchier. At one point I didn't quite understand why she wanted me to revise a sentence, and she outrightly asked: "Do you want me to find another teacher to explain it to you?" And I thought I was impatient. Anyway, I dutifully jotted down words she suggested I use, thought about them, revised the notes again using many of those words, and sent it to her.
I don't give a shit any more about this class. I never have. I haven't learned anything at all about composition or the string quartet from this class. She herself doesn't even know much -- don't even make me tell the neo-Baroque story -- and she never pushed me to write my piece. That's another thing: she says that I was being "shady" because I have been very secretive about my piece and because I never showed her much of what I had done. The reason for that, you ask? I basically wrote the piece over Easter break. Out of the 400+ measures in this piece, at least half of them were written or revised by the time Easter had passed.
She can lower my grade all she cares; I don't need the class to graduate. I sure would like to be on her good side, since she is my advisor after all, and I've taken 4 classes with her. But if she can't handle dealing with an artistic issue like borrowing, I don't know what. This is something that people have done throughout the history of Western music -- Berio quotes a hell of a lot of pieces in his Sinfonia, but no one would know unless they recognized those pieces (or unless they read one of the articles I read for seminar). Also, my "lying" to her was not only due to personal reasons, it's an artistic reason. I can't explain any further because if I did, there shall be no point for someone in the future to research my life, my times, my misery....
I'm probably boring the hell out of y'all now.....
I'll stop.
Who wants to listen to Eddie from Ohio? Even if I can't shell out $5 for a ticket, I'd still like to buy a CD.
20:02
I'm about to schedule an appointment with the Dean of Students office --
and I'm gonna do it with a :)
15:13
Thursday, April 25, 2002
People, my college career might be over sooner than we think:
my prof thinks I plagiarized.
I don't know what is going to happen, but if I don't post in the next few days you'll know why.
Just keep me in mind... and pray for me.
22:42
Once again, my alarm did not wake me for mus his.
Can this be the 4th time this year???? If I sleep in one more time my grade drops.
At least the class (and my college career) shall be over in 3 weeks. :0)
11:33
Wednesday, April 24, 2002
Okay, the draft is in, but apparently Mauro wants to take a look at the musical examples too.
Does anybody wanna help me cut and paste 16 pages of notes and measures?
didn't think so.
Must.....sleep.....soon......
18:25
EGADS -- Elvisette has linked up, and to theory too!
I swear, Elvisette and Darjeeling must meet up someday.
14:48
I did not finish my seminar paper last night.
But at least now it is turned in.
Why am I worrying so much? Why was I killing myself to make things perfect? He only wants a draft, so that he'll know what the hell we'll be presenting in a couple of weeks.
anyway.
The freakin Student Government Association people need to be hurt. After four hours of sleep, the last thing I need is to walk past some huge bus and a pair of annoyingly loud loudspeakers aimed at my dorm. If there's a faster way to get me pissed, I sure as hell don't fuckin know it.
I had to cancel my pain-o lesson today... I'd be sitting smack in the middle of it if I hadn't.... I'm too tired to give a fuck about cross-rhythm, really. Perhaps if I hadn't stayed up so late I wouldn't have made a connection between one passage in Marco Polo and the thirteenth-century Ars Nova music. Folks, let's round up the number of things I had to talk about in my paper:
Renaissance polyphony
Gregorian chant
Chinese ensemble music
the harp (diving into semiotics and semantics here)
Ars Nova
that's quite a bit, and considering my paper as it currently stands is only 13 pages long, I feel like I'm missing A LOT.
But for now, I must type up something else.
When is this misery going to end? When, o when is the carpal tunnel syndrome going to set in?
14:42
I will finish my seminar paper tonight.
I will finish my seminar paper tonight.
I will finish my seminar paper tonight.
The seminar paper will be finished before I go to bed tonight.
It will. It will.
It will.
Ksenijia called me again tonight! So lovely to get to talk to alums and ask them how the fuck they're enjoying themselves now that they've left this fuckingly fucking school. Sen seems to be having a fine time in law school, but I didn't get to ask her -- she kept asking me what I was going to be doing after I grab that diploma and run. I told her the same thing I've been telling everyone: I am going to sleep. Actually, I tell some people that I plan on hibernating, then foraging for food in the kitchen, but they never seem to buy that and give me puzzled looks. Wonder why.
Okay, here's the story you all have been waiting for-- but you fellow wildcat hos must promise not to tell anyone, k? Especially anyone with authority at this goddamn place.... Now that we've covered that: last night I was pissed, right? Really pissed. Not more than usual, but I felt the need to unleash some angst. Biskit asked me to get him some pizza from the Union, since he hadn't eaten all day (it's the fucking drugs the fucking DoS give him). So, like a good friend, I go and get him 2 freakin slices of pepperoni. I also get myself something, since I was using his account and everything he gets at the school is paid for by his scholarship. I didn't opt for food; no, what I got was a bottle of Cranberry Raspberry Snapple.
Now then. If you all have had Snapple before, you'd probably have noticed that the stuff comes in cute little glass bottles. And I like glass bottles, because glass bottles break on impact.
Thus, when I had finished imbibing the sweet, fruity liquid held inside the container, I flung it at one of the buildings on campus.
Which one I won't say, since anybody who reads this can rat me out on it. The glass isn't laying someplace where it can harm anybody, so don't go calling the cops on me.
Besides that, I didn't really vandalize since I didn't break anything except for the glass bottle, and that was mine.
but let me tell you all how good it felt to throw something.... just how good it felt to get some stress into my baseball pitching arm. I thought about the people I hate at this school.... all the ways that the school has fucked me over... how my life sucks incredibly.... how there's really no hope for people like me in the future....
Of course, I didn't meld all of that angst into one throw, but it certainly did help. Especially since that little Snapple, on impact, shattered into itty bitty shards of pent-up WHoB-o-rama rage.
And it felt good.
Okay, enough of my daring-dos. I really wanted to go to 21 y/o night and waste away the night in some Heineken, but that ain't gonna happen soon.
before I forget.... Elvisette, you got your links to work yet?
01:10
Tuesday, April 23, 2002
god, I had no idea you're supposed to republish your archives (left side of screen).... whew, did that ever scare the shit out of me.
Can you guys imagine losing all of that beautiful bitchiness? I can't. I was nearly in tears. ;,,,,,(
18:19
thank you, Ross, I remember it's Heitor's concerto and not Hector's-- I wasn't quite thinking straight, since I was 1) pissed and 2) listening to 3 people talk to me at once.
Elvisette: enjoy the picnic and say hi to Jennifer for me. I'll send you that email explaining links someday.
People, my paper is still not finished. Oh yeah, and realize that my paper is completely devoted to the usage of a motif comprised of four notes. That's right, FOUR NOTES. What the *&^%$?????? How many more ways can Tan Dun play around with these goddamn notes???????
Worse yet, something came up in seminar today: those same four notes turn out to be a "human-faith-melody" that Charles Ives uses in one of his pieces (the Concord Sonata)...... and Ives might have gotten that melody from Beethoven (I was falling asleep, so I'm not sure.... if I had done the fuckin readings I would know)...... and since one of Tan's primary influences is Beethoven.... y'all see where this is going, right?
I got a phone call from Ksenijia last night!!! That made me ultra-happy. Ksenijia was one of my big sisters; she graduated last year. It was so cool to hear her voice again, because she's so funny when she talks. Hope law school's going well for her.
Readers: stay tuned to the story of a semester! I tell you, it's worth it.... it's just that I need to find time to type it up....
17:52
i know the freaking previous post didn't make sense. get over it.
elvisette: that Descartes joke was a fuckin riot, let me tell you. I'm just busting a freakin gut laughing. Glad to know that your coworker actually showed up today, btw.
Oh yeah: get your links to work. It's not that hard to do, seriously. I'll try to send an email explaining how it works.
Readers: I have a great story to tell you about, but I really should work on my (freakin) seminar paper. Perhaps tomorrow I'll explain. But for now..... revel in the fuckin suspense!
02:36
Monday, April 22, 2002
ok, everyone, I'm seriously pissed.
SERIOUSLY.
I just went to the Performing Shakespeare class performance.
okay, first of all it said in the program that there'd be cookies and cider during intermission. I walk out of the auditoirum, only to find--- empty tables.i know, it's trite, but it gets better.
I'm SO SICK of having to deal with the students here. Like THOMAS WARD, who gets all of the attention and the all the praise from the profs. Just like JEREMY CAMPBELL, Mr. Valedictorian and mr. PBK and Mr. I applied to Rhodes but they fucking rejected me. just like them. All wonderful people because every fucking person on this campus has to see their fucking faces every fucking where. and of course THOMAS WARD and his British accent.... doesn't that get on EVERYONE's nervers????? nooooooo, because he's so loveable, and talented and GOD KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK ELSE......... ok, I can appreciate Jeff Bender's participation in the class, because he's a good guy, he's humble, he's a beefy wrestler jock but he's still nice..... and aaron Lohmeyer, he's cool too, plays the sax really well (and played the Berlioz sax concerto last semester with the orchestra)..... but BOBBY PITTENGER????? I have never seen him in theater, ever ever ever ever EVER before, and all of a sudden he pops into a theater seminar.... it's incredibly unfair... just because they're popular, or fake British accents, or are white or something, they can be in this class and learn from the Royal Shakespeare Co. and shit like that.
I HATE KATIE VOGEL. j/k
I have to work on my seminar paper.... goddammit, i hate this school.... and read my readings for seminar tomorrow..... .god, if only this would stop..... i'm so pissed i thought about taking some glass bottles out of my room and flinging them at the wall.... or at some people...... i hate this fucking place..... i need to get out of here.......
21:53
Elvisette, you must learn to control herself.
Why is it that everybody I know is blogging it all up? What sort of crazy cyber-obsession have I started?
If anybody wants to tell me how the harp has become associated with the notion of transport and voyage, I'd really appreciate it.
To lunch!
11:38
I see my bed!
I shall greet it soon with a snore!
*grin*
03:09
Sunday, April 21, 2002
People, I have basically spent the entire weekend in front of my computer.
If I don't see any real light tomorrow I might just go insane.
23:28
three f*cking things from my trip to the f*cking library I have to bitch about
1. spoiled bitches -- on my way there I passed this bitch who was setting up a hammock so that she can be a lazy spoiled bitch and read outside. ok, hammocking isn't necessarily annoying, it was the WAY she was setting it up -- all prissy and "oh hammocking is so much fun". get a life, bitch. if you want something to do I can have you hunt up the history of the f*cking flute.
2. bitches who can't read or follow directions -- while I was researching aforementioned history of the f*cking flute, bitch #1 walks up to bitch #2 and starts talking. Loudly. AS SHE STOOD BY A SIGN THAT READ, "At the request of the students, this floor is designated as a QUIET FLOOR." Obviously, this bitch of a student didn't request that. This student requests that all bitches shut the f*ck up while on the freakin library's quiet floors. Otherwise, you can help me research the history of the f*cking flute.
3. assholes who think they own the whole world -- some guy was standing outside the library smoking. That's fine by me if you want to die an early death, but DON'T F*CKIN STAND RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE F*CKIN LIBRARY DOOR DOING IT. I thought about slamming the f*ckin door hard and bruising that f*ckin guy's ass, but his f*ckin ass is so big it wouldn't have been bruised much anyway. Besides, I recognized the idiot as a really talkative and annoying son of a bitch and would've done better if I could seal his feakin mouth shut.
So, who wants to tell me about the f*cking history of the f*cking flute, huh? Anybody? F*ck.
15:28
If anyone can tell me how the f*ck I can keep from staying up all night, I'd appreciate it.
I've been working full steam on my seminar paper -- but last night I got stuck on one paragraph. And of course it's the one paragraph dealing with Chinese music. Goddammit, why can't my advisor be more helpful? I ask her for advice, for reference texts....
Anyway. Let's talk about Patrick's comp recital yesterday, shall we? If I hadn't stopped by the music building yesterday I would've missed it completely, and that's not a good thing. His recital was ... interesting. He had planned some video art to accompany the "intermezzos" -- the sonic stuff to keep us occupied while the stage was prepared for the next act -- but unfortunately we only got to stare at a blueish screen. I must admit, I favored "Enyadatta's Song" over the others because of its orientalist qualities -- he wrote it for non-Western comp last year and never had it performed that semester. I also liked the metallophone... but that's a different story altogether. The "County Clare" piece was also nice. Atonally oriented stuff, though.....
NEWS: RF's brother has survived the plane trip down! He's already been accepted to the school and wants to see if he should come here. (Y'all know my answer to that question, hm?) RF's invited me to have dinner with him, his brother and a group of buddies tonight.... it ought to be an exciting occasion. I swear, if his brother is just as positive and quirky as he is..............
Speaking of food: I need to eat.
12:43
Saturday, April 20, 2002
I just checked the college calendar.
It's only fireworks for the goddam alumni weekend, nothing more.
goddammit, why must this school have such fuckingly annoying traditions?
god how i can't wait to leave this place.
oh well, back to Tan Dun and the pipa.
21:40
Geez, I swear that sounds like a cannon.
I hope they're aiming it at Chambers. Blow the Registrar's Office to smithereens!
21:38
as if y'all didn't know this already:
I HATE THIS FUCKING SCHOOL
SO FUCKING MUCH
IT HURTS
18:48
okay, this email is incredibly weird:
Subject: To the kind students of DC [see, it's already off to a bad start]
We all have dreams! I need your help to achieve mine.
I am a young Australian guy who has a dream to sail a BIG yacht to Greece. I think any dream is possible, and that is what I am trying to prove.
I am trying to get people to stop by my website http://www.ificandream.com to view my plan, and sign up in support of what I am doing.
I do not need your money. It is like a petition.
My dream may appear selfish, but if I can show in a very public way that you can get a
144ft yacht starting without a cent in your pocket, then I know I will inspire other young people to chase their dreams too.
So if you have 5 mins...
Sincerely,
Nathan.
ificandream
14:00
i got up at 11. hence, i am tired.
and i have no energy for shift keys.
i slaughtered through 3 pages of my draft last night, revising and reediting... my paper's a lot more scholarly now. i've even got a little name for a motif i've discovered in the piece -- the Eur-Asia motif, as i call it, because it creates a contrast and dichotomy between Europe as represented by Italy and Asia as represented by China. It's totally tacky, but at least it'll make me sound smarter, no?
... And all of a sudden, shift key energy reappears!
I hope to hash through some reading on Ives and more of the paper tonight -- god, my life is so boring.
13:47
anybody else up at this godforesaken hour????
god, my bed looks so yummy..............
*drool*
05:02
Friday, April 19, 2002
Okay people ... I am updating my resume. Yes, I am doing work on a FRIDAY NIGHT. Can we hear a MAJOR ERK? If only I could manage my life better... I just realized earlier this week that the applications for my grant thing are due by the end of this month, so I must get a move on. Let's see, how many things must I worry about in the next 3 weeks?
And don't worry, folks, once I get done with all that stuff I WILL have a talk with wildcat prez about how this school sucks the shit outta you. At dinner I ran into HCS, another angst-ridden friend. I was reminded that nearly all of my friends here have some beef with the school, whatever it may be.
Perhaps I should have gone to the India reunion after all. At least I wouldn't be consistently complaining about being someplace else when I could've been.
I shall return to my resume now.
Goddammit. All.
Goddammitall.
20:47
I love getting to wake up late 3 days a week -- actually, including weekends, the number comes to an even FIVE. Gawd how I love my schedule.
Friends, I shall cloister myself over the weekend to work on my seminar paper. We'll see about food when I get hungry. (Does anyone else find parallels with my weekend and ancient Chinese scholars taking their examinations?)
12:59
As much as I hate PBKers, they amuse me all too much:
just a minute ago I was at the library, doing research on ProFUCKIT, when all of a sudden I saw RS -- somebody who graduated last year but apparently isn't good enough for grad schools or a job. Not only is he a PBKer, but he was also on the ATC (Activities Tax Council) and other sorts of shit.
HA, Phi Beta Kappa -- I laugh in the face of thee!
00:25
Thursday, April 18, 2002
I LOVE MY PROFS
I just passed my freshman advisor on my way to the PO-- she was trying to find a bike at the bike auction -- and I asked her, "Don't you think it's unfair that the Safety Office would take advantage of others' property by selling their stuff?"
Her whispered reply: "I'm sure the rich spoiled kids here don't mind."
16:22
People, my head hurts and the Tylenol ain't working.
Maybe it's the heat -- or maybe it's Lerner, who I need to speak to but always seems so unapproachable. Dammit, I need to talk to him! He's the only one in the dept who can fill me in on Stanley Kubrick. And I must have all the crap I need for my seminar paper by the weekend.
erk.
My piano teacher has sent us all pictures of the recital. Ain't that cute?
double erk.
More bitching: CONVOCATION SUCKS. (So do all DC ritualistic traditions.) I was just reminded about how little the department loves me when a friend and I shared some nasty words about who won the Music Dept award this year: none other than Oster, who not only HAS ALREADY GRADUATED (to use RF's word, he won the award "posthumously") and has ALREADY GOTTEN INTO GRAD SCHOOL -- and PRINCETON at that. I know that I'm not as good as Oster, thank you; I KNOW that I probably won't even get into grad school. But Christ, surely there are other people who have majored in this department that deserve the award, right?
I've lost faith in the school, and now I'm close to losing faith in my dept. If they don't give me any grant money . . .
I ought to research Prokofiev now -- or maybe I should just ProFUCKIT.
15:57
Wednesday, April 17, 2002
I survived Convocation!!!
... but then again, I didn't go.
Yeah, I skipped Convulsion -- er, Convocation-- because, as I've said earlier, there's no goddamn point to waste an hour and a half of my day seeing the same happy-smiling-people-everywhere types gettinng all the praise in this world. Just makes you even more depressed. I will say, though, that I dressed up for this auspicious day -- auspicious because Fi wrote me (yay!), not because of the hallowed ceremonious events that took place this afternoon. Yes indeed, I pulled out my Nanjing gear and made myself look even more international and aloof today than I usually do. And it was good.
I have to meet with my ensemble tonight for a rehearsal -- goddamn the few cellists on this campus. Why the hell can't we have more than THREE people at this school who can play the cello???? I'm down to my last option -- gawd, how I hope he'll agree to help me out. I had hoped to end this, my last year of college, with a bang, but it's looking more and more as though it ain't gonna happen. Dammit.
This life sucks. Why can't I just shed this skin and start anew?
19:04
hee hee
Egads, a message from Fi -- this version is censored because we here at wildcat ho have just f*cking tons of f*cking class, you know. Sh*t.
andy my sweet, you amuse the f*ck out of me, you seriously do. you have such a great sense of sadistic humour!
i think my cursing has gone up thanks to you. ^_^
it was good for the world when you started blogging!
cheers,
fiona
Thank you for the kind words Fi-- you must send me a link to your new home, because I lost it. Dammit. I must say, though, that it's so nice to see the Fi trademark seal, ^_^ . Brings a :-| (uncertain, pessimistic grin) to my day.
I am / was / will be sooooooo happy to skip Convocation today -- why bother spending an hour and a half of today watching the same people walking up to the same stage to get the same awards and the same praise that the same people give them? Geez, if my freakin day was that routine... I'd know when the f*ck to go to the bathroom, that's for sure.
Speaking of routine... nature calls....
(_x_) <-- kiss my ass
10:54
Okay, Biskit, this time you've entered my territory -- you've gone too far.
00:11
Tuesday, April 16, 2002
Urgh. I should start working on my seminar paper soon.
So... I survived the day of Lerner (perhaps "the day of Lerning"? nah, too punny). Today, not only did I have this prof for mus his class, but he also guest-lectured during our seminar. Whew! I was truly worried if I'd make it out of those classes alive, but thank Krishna I did. Moose didn't quite make it to class today -- but he did make it to the bathroom, holding in his vomit the whole time. (Would be fun if I could hold my waste, gastric or intestinal or otherwise, until I get to class -- and then let it all out upon arrival -- but I can't control my bodily functions that well.) Seminar was actually really cool - this guy's specialty is film music and, since I haven't done anything at all with such stuff, it was nice to see that door open a crack.
I just attended a talk about Balzac (French writer / philosopher?) and his brand of Orientalism -- sadly, so did JC (known as THE VALEDICTORIAN, MR. PBK, and also as THE GUY WHOM EVERBODY THOUGHT WOULD GET THE RHODES SCHOLARSHIP BUT DIDN'T HA HA). And of course he was the first to ask the lecturer a question, one of those "everybody see how smart I am!" questions that we all (and I in particular) hate. The speaker herself wasn't great: she kept pausing as though getting lost in her paper, but I guess I should give her some room since it seems that English isn't a strong language for her. Well then, if she's French she should know something about Flaubert, non?
If I learned anything from that lecture, it'd be this: French majors are hot.
Elvisette-- 'twas fun chatting with you last night, O Weenie Queene!
21:10
Monday, April 15, 2002
POST-RECITAL CALM: THREATENED HOMICIDE OF PIANO TEACHERS NEVER MATERIALIZED, SOURCES SAY
Thanks to all of you who came out to watch me make a fool of myself yesterday! I can't remember if I mentioned it before, but my heart had been jumping and fluttering all weekend because I was so nervous... I was even hoping that I might have a heart attack so that I wouldn't have to go through it. Even though I was nervous I told myself that it's my last chance to perform and that everyone's there to hear me, so why should I be so worried? And last night when I sat at the piano I was the least nervous I had ever been in the last 2 days... or ever. The first piece I played, Debussy's Pagodes, is the gamelan-inspired one; in the words of my teacher, it's a "timeless, ageless" piece-- I had to be calm and serene to give it that eternal, priceless quality. I screwed up the second piece, though; Barber's Excursions, no 4 is based on hoe-down, so I could let myself loose on that one. I heard somebody laughing in the middle of my first piece and somebody hooted as I walked off stage (whether in support or indignation, I cannot say). At least it's all over with now.
And now to other music crap: seminar paper, mus his paper, paper this, paper that. Dammit.
13:39
Saturday, April 13, 2002
DOUBLE D-DAY COMES & GOES: JOURNALISTS REPORT NO INJURIES OR FATALITIES
Yes, it's a lovely Saturday in April, with just one difference: double D-Day has come. That's right, it's Decision D--- and trust me, there were flocks of prospective sheep all around campus. (Waiting to be sheered and slaughtered, no doubt.)
As I mentioned earlier (check Tuesday April 9th), my good friend RF referred my name to the double D-Day committee to serve on a panel. For about 40 minutes I would need just to sit there and answer questions high school kids ask me... it didn't sound like much, so I actually accepted. So... I get there basically on time and found out that I was the first person of my panel to show up. Yes, I was thinking, leave me alone with this new prey.... I will take care of them *mwha ha ha*... eventually though the rest of the panel showed up. I was stuck with one of the most annoying double D-Dayers ever, NK. She wouldn't shut up, she really wouldn't. She kept talking about how this place is so great and wonderful and blah blah blah... The only person out of the whole group who really had questions to ask was a very prissy girl from LA-- trust me, she and NK had a lot to talk about. The topics that came up never led me to a chance to slander the school, as I was hoping, so I could only sit complacently and nod some times. I did sell the India program here (which, I've heard, is the tops in the country).
We just had our piano dress rehearsal -- the recital's tomorrow night. Guess who's a little scared? Usually, by this time I would have lost control of my body and my blood would be gushing through my veins (out of my veins, perhaps?). But since my performance this time around is really just for me, I'm slightly calmer than normal. My heart still flutters a lot though -- maybe that's due to everything I have to worry about: seminar paper, paper presentation, comp recital, THE HISTORY PAPER THAT IS TOTALLY UNFAIR, and of course the piano recital. But at least by 10 pm tomorrow I'll be done with one of them. It's good that we had a pre-recital rehearsal of sorts since I never had the time to talk with my fellow students, especially the freshmen. How are they taking it? Is the pain bearable for them, the newcomers? They seem to do all right. They also treated us to pizza afterwards -- I've got one whole pie sitting next to me as I type! Italian sausage....mmm.....
I ought to go check my mail now.
18:01
Friday, April 12, 2002
okay: my grant proposal is IN and I got a haircut so my cap is clean and coiffed. time to continue blogging!
so yeah, thomas was one of the youngest out of the high school bunch back in Nanjing. I've been hearing from his classmate Tony quite a bit-- we share little cultural tidbits and he constantly asks me these cute little questions about English. The latest installment asks about the differences between ICE CREAM and CREAM ICE (if such things exist, in the latter case). ain't that adorable?
and now that my stomach is growling like mad and my blog update is complete -- it's off to lunch.
12:38
6 hours of sleep this morning (approx 4-1010am)... if the amount of sleep I've been getting tells me anything about my health, I should be dead by now.
anyway.... updating since I'm waiting for my advisor to give me further comments on my grant proposal. (she's currently in a meeting with someone.) As if the events yesterday I spoke about weren't enough, here're some other things worth mentioning:
*the PBD induction "ceremony" (how I ever use that term loosely in this instance)... I got there shortly before the "ceremony" was to begin, but already all the inductees had made it there and had already started gabbering about how proud of themselves they were. I took a seat in the aisle, near the door -- I still wasn't sure if I wanted to be there or not -- and waited for things to begin. By the time RP, the "President" of our "honor society" (he's not "president" because he did anything special to deserve it, I can tell you that) began the ritual by congratulating the inductees, I had already pulled a travel magazine off the shelves and started occupying myself with the backpacks in it. I never clapped once throughout the ceremony, nor did I even give a crap; if you ask me, I only partially attended. I couldn't stand how RP couldn't even act proper in his stint as "President" -- hell, this is the only "presidential" thing he has to do all semester (besides signing those certificates given to the newcomers) but nooooooo, he has to screw it up into a vaudeville act. And of course we had a HUGE number of inductees -- the number was FIFTY PERCENT out of the people who applied. Go ahead, ASK ME IF I HAVE ANY HONOR. Not any stemming from PBD, that's for sure. At least the spread at the reception was very good (better than last year's, even): 3 sorts of cheese (brie, cheddar, and something with little herbs in it) lots of crackers, toasted mini slices of bread, strawberries with some AWESOME whipped cream, and CREAM PUFFS. Yes, CREAM PUFFS. Having reached the table, I politely waited for the inductees to grab some grub -- it was their moment to shine, after all -- but then the college photographer ushered everybody outside and I took my cue. (How was I to know he wanted a photo of everybody?)
*I had my first comp rehearsal last night... it was right after the Plott dinner, so I was already running late, and then I got really worried because only half of my ensemble showed up on time... A third popped up soon enough, but the cellist never came and I still have yet to hear from her. I've gotten the impression before that she doesn't really want to work with this -- it could be that she's over-committed, she seems to have so little free time -- but GODDAMMIT, if you don't have any free time then JUST SAY NO. I TOLD her not to feel obligated to participate. Dammit.
In happier news: I just got an email from "your student"-- who might this "student" be, you ask? (My guess was Biskit.) It turns out that it's from Thomas, one of the high school kids that Stella and I taught while in Nanjing! Yay! Thomas was one of the youngest-looking people in the group --- okay, my grant proposal advisor just came to feed me her suggestions, and I'VE GOT TO TURN THIS THING IN TODAY, so I'll finish this post up later k?
11:05
D.A.D.
Okay, it's been a busy day so don't bitch at me for not updating all day.
Here's the dilly-o about the paper: after waiting TWO MONTHS to hear what my prof has to say about it, he tells me I PLAGIARIZED. (this is coming from the same prof who thinks I should get kicked out of this school by the Honor Council, I might add.) It seems as though nothing I do for this man is right-- I didn't intentionally pull literature out of a book and glue it onto paper to turn in to him. What he says I plagiarized is what I took to be a commonly known fact for any potential member of my intended audience (and my intended audience was solely my prof). Seriously, I thought that if anybody knew anything about the work I talked about in my paper, it would be that fact which he accuses me of taking from somebody else. Even my sources just state it, without referring to another source; if it's something commonly known by the music community, why do I need to cite my source? Hell, if an undergrad student knows this, shouldn't a professor? I'm just too confused-- and would appreciate any clarification. (Yes, Elvisette, I know you might want to respond, so do.)
Oh, and another thing -- if a professor takes TWO MONTHS to return your papers, would it be fair for that same professor to issue another paper assignment a month before finals? Evidently our prof thinks so. I found it unfair and inconsiderate; if the whole class feels that way, I'll be happy to lead the group into the prof's office and tell him that we're not going to write it. Maybe it's just me (although I doubt it is), but having your students wait 2 months for their grades and then squeezing in another major assignment is rather mean. Granted, he sized it down slightly for us, but it's still unfair -- we've already entered the most hectic time of the semester.
Enough bitching about my paper... let us now move on to general dissenting news. For the past couple of days I've been considering starting a forum / group of sorts, D.A.D., standing for Dissenters Against D----. Speaking with my friends about our angst, it's been coming to my attention that I may not be the only person who has a very genuine, very true hatred against this establishment. Wouldn't it be funny if I started up an online forum / support group of sorts where people can bitch about what they hate about this place?
And the leadership honor society doesn't think I'm good enough for them. Well, if I wasn't a leader then. . . But again, if any of y'all have any feedback, please, tell me what you think. I need some support here.
One last thing: we had the Plott dinner tonight... if I haven't explained it before, it's the annual Music Dept dinner where they formally welcome the prospective students who are applying for applied music scholarhips. Okay, so maybe it isn't all that formal: I was placed next to Mauro, the prof in the entire dept with the driest of humors, and he kept wisecracking throughout the dinner so much that he had me and the other people around in hysterics at several points throughout the meal. We were just bawling, tears in our eyes; actually, one of the other profs excused us, not embarrassed but perhaps uncertain of our sanity. The question that got Mauro going? Patrick (fellow major) asked him whether there was a school out there with a comp program without any required courses in theory. The response? "Well, at the University of Life and in the School of Hard Knocks . . ." It was Mauro's delivery of his lines that made them so, so.... poignant. Expecting him to give something serious, he pulls out a serious asshole of an answer. (I should mention here that Mauro's the theory prof and Patrick's known for not caring much for that field.) It took several moments for Patrick, Mauro, the others and me to regain our composure. Looking back, I wonder if I would've enjoyed the dinner as much as I did if I hadn't been sitting with Mauro.
Okay, folks, I have to work on a grant proposal now (having wasting 2 hours just now lounging around with some buddies), so I'll end it here, with this final note:
I hate this f*cking school.
00:27
Thursday, April 11, 2002
Goddammit--- I had typed up a long entry and accidentally pressed the wrong button. Dammit.
Okay, so the silent treatment went rather well, especially since I don't talk all too much anyway. And since I didn't have any classes today, just my piano lesson, and when I explained to my teacher what I was doing she respected my silence (in her words). I met with my advisor to discuss some issues and when she discovered what I was doing she immediately pulled out some pen and paper. I thought that it was hilarious that a prof went along with it. It was also kinda cool to drop a bomb on her -- she had no idea whatsoever that my piece is derived from a previously existing melody and kinda gave me a "what the hell?" look. But anyway, I got around all right writing everything down -- but it would've been better if people stopped bitching about how they couldn't read my writing. (According to Mauro, the words "readadibility" and "Andy's handwriting" should never be in the same sentence.)
Along the lines of the DoS and LGBT stuff, I went to Shane Windmeyer's talk about being gay in a fraternity. This guy came out to his fraternity, got a very positive and supportive reaction from them and started the Lambda10 project to support gays and lesbians in fraternaties and sororities. I remember his coming to campus my freshman year and attending the talk then; I wasn't very impressed by it, but I was impressed with and enjoyed reading Out on Fraternity Row, an anthology of memoirs by gays in fraternities and their experiences in those social organizations. They've got a new publication out (of the closet?), Secret Sisters. That ought to be good too. And later this year there'll be Inspiration, a "chicken soup for the soul for gays" in Windmeyer's words.
LR did a fabulous job tonight in Rich Orloff's "The Whole Shebang" -- if you've got some free time, read this one-act drama. To get down to the bare facts, a student undergoes a project in which he creates the heavens and the earth for the degree of MU (Master of the Universe).... Great stuff. This production wasn't bad; I especially favored the entrance of the Dean and profs to the overwhelmingly familiar and quite overused intro of Richard Strauss' Also sprach Zarathustra.
Speaking of Zarathustra, I really ought to reread some Nietzsche soon.
Oh-- and speaking of plagiarism (see previous entry) -- I've got to tell you guys about the comments made my music history paper (yeah, the one I turned in TWO MONTHS AGO).
00:52
Wednesday, April 10, 2002
Oh, and an inspirational lyric (and note*) from Elvisette:
From the Kasey Chambers song "We're All Gonna Die Someday," which you might reasonably expect to be sad and bittersweet:
Well, they can all kiss my ass, lord
They can all kiss my ass.
If they wanna kiss my ass
Then they'd better do it fast
Because we're all gonna die someday.
*As the geek that I am I try not to plagiarize (and consequently get my @$$ kicked out of school by some of the people I hate most)
12:28
Waking up shortly before noon is not good, especially if I want to graduate and pass mus his this year.
In case any of you run into me today: I can't talk, but I can type or write. Today's a Day of Silence... also a day to practice my sign language. While I'm busy ranting & bitching about how I suffer at this school, people are dying every moment... today's also a day to consider that there are more important things in this world besides this goddamn place.
Why must the computer lab be full of annoying alcoholic seniors?
LR, good luck tonight! Break a leg!
12:24
Okay, so maybe RF won't die, but he'll at least get a beating. Turns out that he referred my name to somebody who's organizing a panel for the prospectives here -- at least he wasn't expecting me to be all positive of the school. (A good panel should feature both sides of the coin, no?) So maybe I will do it after all -- and SLAM this school down like it ain't nobody's business.
In less words, of course.
In other school angst-related news: my fellow music geeks and I have come up with a great comp project for me, now that my string quartet piece is done. Why not channel all that hate into my next work? Why not write, say, a choral piece based on nothing other than the alma mater, "O Hail, O D----"? Would that not be hilarious, especially considering that we're exploring the boundaries and meanings of musical borrowing in seminar?
I love my geeky brethren, I really do.
Anybody heard of John Mayer? Spent the afternoon hunting down info about him and some of his stuff. He hails from Atlanta, GA and is a folkish songwriter. Currently he's got a hit on the radios, "No Such Thing"... His voice "sounds like" (hate using that phrase; perhaps it resembles coloristically) Dave Matthews' voice, so I (and I bet many other people) first mistook the track as the latest DMB single. The lyrics struck me as kinda funny... something about "running through the halls of my high school" and "when I stand on these tables before you...you'll know what it's all about"... faintly fatalistic. But that's beside the point. Most of the mp3s I found are live performances, since he's just hitting the big times.
THIRTY-NINE days til graduation!!!! Woohoo! I shall soon, oh so soon get the f*ck outta dodge. And never step onto the campus here again. Except to plant a few bombs.
And on that eerie note...
01:08
Tuesday, April 09, 2002
Decision D----, henceforth known as double-D Day, is this weekend.
RF just referred my name to the double-D committee.
And yes, he will die.
22:06
Wow: an hour into seminar and my headache's actually feeling better. Next time I'll just take one aleve, not 3.
According to CR, the 900 Room bar manager, we are T-40 days until THE BIG LIFTOFF.
Oh, and get this folks: somebody yesterday asked me what I would do if I was asked to a formal. What an utterly IDIOTIC question! Does any asshole out there have the nerve to ask me that again???
14:37
Monday, April 08, 2002
me in the music library + orchestra rehearsal night tonight = I have a huge headache right now.
19:45
I need to learn to wake up earlier.
In other sleeping-related news: just got confirmation with my comp prof that I don't need to meet with her Wed mornings any longer! Yet another day to sleep in! Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeehaw
14:11
Blogging from the computer lab... just wanted to say that I hate the fucking DC-server (and everything else that is DC-related).
Has anyone else noted that my language has become much more obscene these days?
That deserves a :).
00:00
Sunday, April 07, 2002
Just found an article from the Onion on Mauro's door but sadly, couldn't find a link to it. It's something only we treble-cleffed geeks could understand anyway.
21:24
Dances, Dialects and Squid -- what more can a demented man ask for?
the server's been really finicky lately, so I have an excuse for not updating recently.
Well, this weekend was just spectacular. Honestly, I'm surprised I haven't exhausted my supply of Aleve, Tylenol and Advil. (I have yet to take on Ibuprofen.) I should've been working all weekend but I just couldn't make myself because I HATE THIS FUCKING SCHOOL SO FUCKING MUCH. I had a special conversation with BB on fri to get the facts straight -- did the DoS really just jump to the conclusion that she needed to go to the Health Center? I tricked her into going out for sushi with me after she took her bio test... turned out it was her first experience with raw fish (unless tuna at Mickey and Mooch counts) and, well, to quote Life Cereal and Snapple slogans, she likes it. I met some of her hallmates, who were very nice... one of them was particularly happy that we were willing to share the sushi we had left, but they seemed most interested to talk because I was simply a new face to them. It's refreshing to see such interest and curiosity in the young'uns here, while the rest of us upperclassmen just don't give a crap any longer.
Last night I went to the Dance Ensemble performance. here's my review of the DE @ DC:
*the opener, some shit danced to Madonna's "Like a Prayer," was utterly terrible. Just terrible. they could at least have played with the idea of religion or even that of race presented in the video, by throwing in some non-chalk-colored people into the ensemble (one way that the DE reflects DC). That performance received 3 claps and a near walk-out by yours truly.
*things got a little better with the second performance, entitled "Saturday Night on 3rd Rich!" Although lacking in creativity in the titling department, it was at least nice to see freshmen with such spirit and livelihood. 4 claps
*live music is nice, but please, no more RED WATER PARTING. You can drool all over them if you want, but if you ask me their shoes are a little too large for their feet. 4 claps for the expressivity of the dance that accompanied them (I truly doubt the musicians accompanied the dance, as it should've been). The same goes for the D--- Generals (the male a cappella group here).
*the swing dance rendered a hoopla from the audience, but I don't give a shit. 2 claps
*Joy Gerdy's choreography ain't half bad! (It's three-fourths bad.) At least in the Britney Spears' "I'm a slave for you" dance she had her dancers gesticulate like real slaves. (ah, the truth behind the wildcat Venuses) 5 claps for references to BDSM and having uppity girls prance about like the dogs that they are!
*SIX claps to the new DC step-group, Shades Of Brown! Although the initials of the ensemble's name might be mistaken to stand for something else, I appreciated the presence of an entirely non-white group up there livin' up the spotlight. (yes, there are talented students of color here!)
*Diversity is good. Belly-dancing is also good, provided that the girls "don't treat it as if it were a strip show" (actually said by a fellow audience member!). 5 claps for good effort on the part of female international students who want to educate the ignoramuses here about non-European traditions with reverence and respect.
*Thriller was another knockout-- they sure as hell spent a LOT of money on makeup for that one. I'm glad to see that the Dance Ensemble knows how to copy moves out of a music video and thus forget about being ORIGINAL. Nice way to get the audience interested, though. 3 claps for the dancer dressed like a werewolf who, coming down the aisles, fell onto me and howled at the top of his lungs. (I shoulda beat the shite out of him.)
That, my friends, was only THE FIRST ACT. Yes, that was almost A FULL HOUR. But i stuck the rest of it out, because I saw Janet Jackson on the program and wanted to hear her. It's my brother's influence on me.
*RJ is THE dance maestro on campus... but this time around his stuff wasn't as impressive as before. Actually, for me that statement goes for the entire performance -- I feel that the DE relied too heavily on costuming and makeup. Also, and I'm going to sound terribly music geeky here: everything was in common time, nothing in a different meter. And different meters, my friends, are a way of showing one's ability to really dance.
*"Almost 22 Gestures": if anyone can tell me whatever the fuck that was all about, I'd be seriously happy.
*Lisa Loeb was, like, soooooooooo mid-90s. The Talking Heads are from the 80s and belong there. Tim McGraw simply sucks. 3 claps for Natalie McMaster, though -- I love Riverdance-inspired shit!
*Although I appreciate the length and complexity of the last dance, it, like RJ's parts, were basically the same materal as performed last semester. We're living in the 21st century and in the age of television-oriented, half-hour-long attention spans. Give us some new shit.
*Honorable mentions (2 1/2 claps) go to LL, LR and TV, lusciously lovely and adorable friends who busted a move that night.
OK. Another performance worth mentioning is "Fully Committed," a one-man show by my senior theater major friend MB. Dude, that kid has got so many accents under his belt we should've teamed up years ago to pull some prank calls on the President's Office! I emailed him to pre-beg for money that he might wanna give me when he's got his handprints on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and I'm looking for food at the soup kitchen and hunting through trash cans for fishbones. I have yet to hear back.
So... other than the immense fits of rage and angst aimed at the heart of this school, that was my weekend. I have tons of shit to do before tomorrow... but I'm almost done copying out my parts for my composition! Right now I'm pouring my efforts into that rather than seminar, since that ate me up for the last, oh, THREE MONTHS. It's about time that I focus on my creative work.
16:07
eek-- how could I have mentioned Elvisette's name without mentioning that her birthday was earlier this week?
you're getting older, you fool.
00:05
Saturday, April 06, 2002
yo peeps-- i've got a huge headache and a shiteload of work to do, so this un's gonna be short.
thanks to Elvisette for passing on this link: trust me, you want to check it out.
Especially if you think your school sucks.
23:00
Friday, April 05, 2002
I just went to the DoS to hand over a few papers -- before I walked into the building I had already begun shaking visibly.
12:56
Another bitchfest
Before I begin, allow me to state that what follows is not going to be pretty and certainly not positive. In fact, it's downright dismal, so if you're already in a depressive, suicidal mode, GO AWAY.
I went to Butterfingers's room last night specifically to talk to her about something: she's transferring to another school next semester. Okay, not exactly transferring, but definitely studying someplace else. Yes, it's understandable that she want to transfer; she's only a freshman... but I wanted to know why she wanted to get the hell out of... well, hell.
And her reason is that this school has not left her time to do other things, specifically "church stuff" and "helping other people stuff". I understand how she feels completely -- ever since this school raped me of my self-esteem, I've needed to do some "helping other people stuff" to feel good about myself.
What I didn't know about her experience thus far is that she had asked the Dean of Students for some advice about transferring and, to my understanding, the Dean quickly dismissed her with a statement that she has some "unhealthy habits" and then proceeded to schedule an appointment with the Health Center for her. Now does that sound professional to you? Considering that Biskit had a similar problem with the DoS-- to him they too just said "you have a problem" and shoved him off to a counselor-- I'm not pleased with these people.
And I haven't been pleased with a lot of things, for example:
*the lack of students' care for other students' property, like that one asshole who, while playing tennis, hit a ball over a fence and ONTO SOMEBODY'S CAR HOOD without even blinking an eye
*the fact that there are people here who think this school is heaven on earth and don't bother to tread on the darker clouds
*the feeling of isolation and helplessness people get if they differ from the mainstream in just one way -- this same sense of helplessness one can even get from the Dean of Students Office -- this is why I have NEVER asked for help about my "depression" or my discontent here-- I don't want to be stuck on drugs for the rest of my life and be told to have "unhealthy habits" -- even if I do have some, I CAN FIX THEM MYSELF THANK YOU
*the fact that the Residence Life Office chose to cluster all people with disabilities on a single hall -- what the fuck is that all about? considering this school is full of upper-crust and SPOILED rich kids, it would be a lot better to have the handicapped students living all over campus so that these self-obsessed morons can get a taste of what it's like to have a disadvantage and be disadvantaged
I've been so distraught over this ... I didn't go to bed til 5 this morning and I'm currently shaking as I type ... after four years of telling myself that this school can change and that things will be better in the future, it's time for me to open my eyes and see that nothing is going to happen... I'm so distraught over this, in fact, that I might very well schedule an appointment with the president of the college.
I can't take this shit any longer.
12:39
Thursday, April 04, 2002
News from the Utterly Un-beMused
Okay, I had typed up a long update yesterday... and then the server crashed.
That's what I get for supporting (trusting?) bigshot domain servers like this.
I received some good karma yesterday (I've probably cursed today by saying that). Examples:
*comp prof didn't call me to tell me she couldn't make my meeting because she knew "I would wake him [me] up"
*I had a really good piano lesson -- even got some leftover Easter chocolate!!!! Candy = good rations for college student
*seminar prof said "[your seminar paper is] Excellent"
--ok, so maybe that last one's a bit... imagined. But I'm trying to make myself feel good. Extra praise to me for taking the music history test last night and getting that over with!! Yay :0)
In other music news: who knew that Benjamin Britten was gay? Who knew that Charles Ives was butch? Who cares?
We music geeks get to have dinner with a composer named Mark Kuss next week -- he has a, um.... interesting take on concert culture. One of his neatest pieces is a set of variations based on the Oscar Meyer theme... y'all know, "I wish I was an Oscar Meyer weiner," etc. Granted, from a compositional standpoint it'd be fun to talk to him (my most recent piece also borrows a melody... but not one from popular culture), but dammit we seminar music folk both have to attend the talk and have dinner with him. And have dinner with the faculty. I am seriously not up to that, no matter how good the food is. Add to that the Plott dinner (an annual music dept get-together) in the same week and you've got yourself one very disgruntled major.
Anybody know a good violinist who wouldn't mind coming to DC to perform?
14:24
Monday, April 01, 2002
Bunny Blues
So how y'all doin'? How was everybody's Easter break? Mine was wonderful -- all twenty-five hours of it. (Okay, twenty-six.) I basically made a pit stop at home: drove home Sat night at 11pm and left home Sun night/Mon morn at midnight. Yeah, I drove kinda late but that's the best time to out on the highway-- no cars around so less possibility of accidents, no annoying SOBs wanting you to get out of the way. It's especially good for me to drive when no one's around because I drive pretty erratically... if there's a good song on the radio or if my CD hits a good one, I get kinda negligent with my speeding. On the other hand, if I have to search for something good I of course have to slow down to give my audio system more attention. It's all part of making the highway a comfortable driving experience.
So bascially going home was a way of saying "I really shouldn't be doing any work, but I'm a geek so I can't help it"... really I just wanted to get away from seminar and all the shit I have to do for my paper. I worked on my composition... devoted all of yesterday to it and hashed out the last few hundred measures AND copied out the first violin part in about eight hours. That baby is FOUR HUNDRED MEASURES LONG. I wonder what I got myself into... there's no way I can get all four performers to meet enough times to even run through the piece in its entirety. Christ, if we're not going to have a good performance we're not going to have a performance at all.
Oh, in keeping with the spirit of Easter... this site is a must-see if you haven't been yet. I posted it earlier but it's sooooo much funnier now that everybody's out hunting for eggs.
I guess I should study some music history now.... especially if I don't wanna fail the g*ddamn test on Wed.
13:21
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